New Beginnings

January is the time for New Beginnings. Society gives us the green light for these few weeks after New Years to shed our old mistakes, and begin anew. Our past is left aside, and the world cheers us on as we start fresh. New Beginnings.

On Friday, Doug took delivery of his first wheelchair. New Beginnings. He was very tentative at first. He let Freddy[1] go first. Once Freddy gave the thumbs up of approval, Doug allowed us to help him in. He was not at all sure about this. Neither was I. He's still walking, running, and almost jumping. What are we doing with a wheelchair? Take this thing away and give it to someone who needs it! But he does need it. Long distances are tiring for him, and he's too old for the stroller. Seeing him sit up in the chair makes his eye-contact height much more appropriate. He's not a little kid anymore. I'm already beginning to see a few more things that will change. Our walls will have some new marks - Doug's steering is pretty darn good already, but those footrests are not exactly 5mph bumpers. Some furniture will need to be moved to allow our new Mario Andretti space to practice. On the other hand, some things will be staying the same - for now. Doug doesn't need the chair for his daily living yet. He will still be walking whenever we can let him. We'll use his chair for times and places where his endurance simply isn't up to the task. New Beginnings.

Allison commented to me that it just looked so wrong to see such him sitting there, dwarfed by the size of his chair. I can see what she means, but I think I see it a little differently. What I saw there was the captain of a starship. Sitting up tall in the big captain's chair - finally in charge of his world, and all that he could see. New Beginnings.

We had a sermon in church today about something I've blogged about before. Part of it was about making the most of now - since the past cannot be changed, and the future cannot be experienced. It was given by a friend - a friend who lost his wife to cancer last year. New Beginnings. I was challenged today about how I am living my life. I'm pretty sure I'm not living in the shadows - slinking around and doing evil without regard to my fellow man. I'm not as sure, however, if I'm basking in the radiant heat that the full sunlight of God's love is. I think I may be spending my time in what were referred to as Borderlands. A belt of trees between the bright sunlight of God's love and the dark depths of evil - a place where "the good" go to hide from God, but not completely leave the light that filters through the trees. In my life, this takes the form of living day by day - fending off the crisis of the day, and simply being content to reach the end of the day without a mental meltdown. No goals, no joy, simply existence. His sermon contained a call to action. A call to take what we know about God in our heads, and apply it to our hearts. To take what we know about loving our neighbours and to turn it into the act of loving our neighbours. And to do it now - not tomorrow. At the end of his sermon, Peter issued the call - come forward if you want to make a statement that you are making a fresh start. I'm always uncomfortable at those sorts of challenges - I never know if I'm doing/not doing for the right reasons. Today was the same - only different. I did not hear a clear call to come forward. What I heard was that staying where I was was not an option. I could go forward, or I could go out the door at the back - but the status quo was not acceptable today. I went forward. New Beginnings.

How this will play out, I don't know. But 2008 is a fresh year. I can't change yesterday, and I can't do squat about tomorrow. But I can live right now. New Beginnings.


[1] His favourite companion - a stuffed frog.