It all comes back to me now...

What a rough week.

We had an appointment on Thursday with Medical Genetics at Children's Hospital. We didn't know what the appointment was for. I guess we've gotten into the habit of taking the appointments without asking too many questions.

Anyhow - we figured that with it being genetics, it wasn't likely to be "new" news, so we didn't worry too much. Or so we thought. It turns out that just the fact that we are going to Children's Hospital for an appointment means that all of the old wounds that we have managed to heal up over the summer have just been ripped open again. Our illusion of normality is shattered. My world is once again in turmoil, and I am finding myself without solid footing, being swept along in a sea of emotions. And I'm the designated "strong one". I can only imagine what Allison is feeling.

I don't like what it has done to me this week. I've booked my calander full to overflowing, and my time management skills are taking a beating. Plus I'm grumpy. I've got a short fuse, and the kids seem to be taking the brunt of it. It's not their fault. But I'm not sure I realized why this was happening until I started thinking about blogging it. I figured I was just too busy, or too tired. Both of those make me grumpy, but not like this. I think I was lashing out in the same way a drowning person flails looking for something to grab onto - not caring who they step on, or drag under in their quest for solid ground.

I need to recognize this. I can't do it on my own. I shouldn't even try. How quickly I forget life's lessons and am forced to relearn them.

Oh yeah. The tiles are finished. The playset is all assembled. I didn't make it before my business trip, but I finished it now. Major load off my mind. Thanks again to everyone who helped/prayed.