Thursday, March 16, 2006

A Long Way From Home

Well, I've been on the road for a while now. I left for Torino and the Olympics on the 4th of February. It's now the 17th of March, and I've only been home for about 6 days. I'm in Melbourne now, and won't be back until the 8th of April.

I've found that I have two personalities. There's "at home Cam" and "on the road Cam". On the road Cam doesn't seem to have any connection at all to home. I think it's a defense mechanism whereby I limit my external world to only what is necessary for my day to day survival. This isn't 100% successful. Calling home, e-mails, and other things bring "at home Cam" to the surface. Usually this is good - I like my connections to home. Sometimes it brings up pain that I'm not ready for.

In some ways, seeing the EAD events (Elite Athletes with a Disability) is one of these triggers. From where I sit "at the office", I can see live feeds from all the competition venues. The disabled athlete events are mixed in with the ablebodied (as they should be!). Occasionally I look up to see these athletes who are overcoming great challenges and am both profoundly impressed. Other times I look at them and and am deeply saddened to be a little TOO close to their world.

Anyhow, I probably won't blog again until I'm back home. "On the Road Cam" isn't up to too many of these sessions.