Ride For Doug 2008

Well, another year has come and gone for Ride For Doug. And just like last year, my good intentions for blogging my thoughts and feelings fell by the wayside. Don't get me wrong, it wasn't that I didn't feel like sharing them with the world - it's just that there was so much to DO, that I didn't have time to ponder on the experience of it.

Since the last time I blogged, I've:

• finished organizing and holding the ride
• tied up all the loose ends after the ride
• gone out to Newfoundland for a family wedding
• done a 2 week vacation in the Maritimes
• completed the first third of a month long business trip
• eaten a scorpion

I had really meant to include more about the experiences of organizing - but by the time I finished working on it - the last thing I wanted to do was update another website. If you haven't yet been to the ride website do it. www.RideForDoug.com You'll find photos, and a great slideshow set to a song composed specially for the day.

Oh yeah - Doug made the front page of the local paper. The WHOLE front page. To read the stories, go the the In the News section of www.RideForDoug.com

Anyhow, as I write this I am sitting in the Main Press Centre in Beijing, hoping nothing important breaks...

How dedicated are we?

Today in church we had a child dedication service for some friends. This is a special morning, where parents bring their new children for a symbolic ceremony of dedication. Basically, the parents make a public promise that they will raise this new child in a Godly manner. Its really more of a parent dedication than a child one. At then end, the congregation is asked if they too will dedicate themselves to standing behind the parents in the raising of the child, and we all stand to show our support.

Its this last bit that draws my attention today.

I often wonder, as I stand amongst the throng, how many of us really give this a second thought when we are asked to respond. We stand in unison almost as if we are actors standing up on cue. Have we really considered what is being asked of us? Have we measured our dedication and decided that yes, we will do it?

Imagine, if you will, what that child is thinking as the question is asked:

Will you stand behind my parents as they raise me? Will you call and ask my mom if she needs someone to keep an eye on me as she catches a nap after a long night up? Which of you will be there on Sunday morning when I come to the nursery at church? Who will make sure my first interactions with my peers are constructive and positive?

When I'm old enough for Sunday School, will you be my teacher? Will you take the time from your busy schedule to show me that yes, people outside my family genuinely care for me too? I'll be in Sunday School for more than half a dozen years - will enough of you be there? As I make the transition to my teens, who will be an example for me in such turbulent times? Do any of you have time to be a youth sponsor? Who can I turn to for a listening ear and a shoulder to cry on when my parents just don't get it? Which of you will I trust enough?

Who will help me as I struggle through decisions of school and career? Which of you will let me look to you for guidance and examples of how to live life? Who will encourage me on my first missions trip? Which of you will help me find funds to do it?

Which of you will spot my talents and abilities, and encourage me? Who will give me the chances to try and to fail without judgment? Repeatedly? Who will mentor me? Hold me accountable? Help me find my place in the work of the church?

Who will come alongside with a word of encouragement as I raise my own children? Which of you will help me through the sleepless nights and anxious moments? Who will be the good example that my children look up to?

And when I am older, who will take care of me? Who will make sure I have a way to get to church when I can no longer drive myself? Who will be there as the years of life take their toll upon my mortal body? When I no longer remember your name, will you still love me?

It has been said that any village can raise an idiot. I think it takes the entire family of God to raise a Godly child these days. This is what I meant when I stood up today. How about you?

But what about me?

Some of you will be able to relate to this one. If you are an older sibling of someone with a disability, I'd really like your input.

There's been an extra amount of busyness around our house this last month as preparations for the second annual Ride For Doug take place. There are e-mails to send, phone calls to make, things to decide, and stuff to organize. But out of all that noise is a small voice crying out "But what about me?"

This time, it's not Doug. It's Samantha. She sees the hustle and bustle through the eyes of an 8 year old. She is watching what looks like a disproportionate amount of our time go into Doug's life. How does one explain to an 8 year old that a specialist appointment isn't really the same as going to the park, and that RFD is about helping others - not just Doug.[1] We really DO spend time with her, but like all kids - it doesn't add up the same for her as it does for us.

I like to think that we are spending our time fairly between the kids, but what kid really ever can get enough attention? Samantha loves to be loved. Spend time with her, and she just soaks it in - she can't get enough of it. But what is it like to view things through her eyes? As time goes by, Doug will need more and more medical and support attention. How can we make this not be a threat to her?

One thing that we've tried to do is set up a time once a week where Doug is out with a respite worker. During this time, we do something with her. Sometimes we go to the library, sometimes we just sit and play video games together. Hopefully (if the weather ever warms up) I'll get to take her on some father-daughter evening rides. But I'm a bit lost here. How can I make her realize that we love her just as much, and that we ARE spending time with her?

I'm hoping that some of you who have been through this can let me know what's going on in her head and what might work. Please leave comments here so others in the same situation can benefit from your wisdom.

[1] The title of the ride is catchy, but a bit misleading for a kid.

One for the Road

This last weekend marked yet another milestone in the life of The Little Biker. Yes, we finally have the biker's equivalent to baby's first steps.

Doug went for a ride with me. We saddled up a couple times over the weekend, and I spent several hours alternating rides between Doug and Samantha. Both of them love riding. Samantha's latest favourite part is "the freeway". Doug, he's still fairly speed limited, but his favourite parts are "the corners". I can practically feel my back getting sunburned from his radiant smile.

After his first ride, I asked him "So, how was that?". He thought about it for no more than a second or two and quipped back "Better than Thunder Mountain."[1]

And isn't that just what life is all about?


[1] http://disneyworld.disney.go.com/wdw/parks/attractionDetail?id=BigThunderMountainRailroadAttractionPage&bhcp=1

The Price of Admission

What could be more relaxing at this time of year than a vacation? A family vacation. To Orlando. In theme parks. With in-laws...

We just got back from a family trip to Orlando with Allison's family. That town stands as a bastion of capitalism. Swamp land transformed into acre after acre of theme parks - each packed with thousands upon thousands of people. You can almost hear the cash being consumed - it's a dull whooshing sound starting at your back pocket, and heading out. It resonates not only from you, but from all of those around you. The entire GDP of Canada run through Visa every day.[1]

If you want to go to play in the Mouse's House, you have to pay the price. In our family's case (being cheap Mennonites and all) the price was probably $400 with a meal and a few little souvenirs.[2] But tens of millions of people do it each year. You see - if you want to have the big league fun, you have to pay the Price of Admission.

The key to enjoying Disney World is forgetting what you left at the gate. That is old news. It's your old life. Your new life takes place within the gates. Enjoy the sparkling, clean scenery. The complete lack of litter. Marvel at the attention to detail as you wait in endless lineups for rides that amaze. Watch the eyes of the children light up as they get to meet Mickey and Minnie in person. It's a whole new world, and it's only available to those who have paid the Price of Admission.

The fastest way to wreck this whole experience is to look into that back section of your wallet at the receipts. Grumbling about how much it cost once you've already gone in only shatters the magic, and brings you down. You're inside, and Mickey doesn't like to give refunds. So, my fellow Magic Kingdom adventurers, keep your chin up and make the most of it. There's rich experiences in the offing, and living in the past will only make you gloomy.

When you sit down and think about it, life is kind of like that. Everything has a price. Sometimes it's money, sometimes it's time. Other times, the price is pain and sorrow. Sometimes we choose, and sometimes it is chosen for us. But whatever the circumstance, things only seem to get worse when you focus on what you left at the gate. Life's rich experiences await those who have paid, and who are willing to enter with their eyes wide open. And they're only for those who have paid the Price of Admission. So stop whining about the cost - it's old news. Open your eyes to the wonders around you. Live life in the theme park you're in for all that you are worth.

The Price of Admission. There's yet another angle to consider - the heavenly dimension. Who can relate to someone in pain better than someone else who has been through it? Who can share God's love with the suffering better than those who are right there in the trenches too? How much more powerful is the love and compassion of a friend who has suffered the same loss? If we want to be the hands and feet of Jesus, we need to pay the Price of Admission - whatever it might be.

Me? I'm looking forward to the fireworks.


[1] Statistic completely made up, but you get the point.
[2] Just under $300 for admission alone. Per day!

Where did February go?

Ok. I know February is a short month, but this is ridiculous. One of my goals this year has been to be more regular with my blogging. It helps clear my head. It's now March, and I'm on my second session of the year. The spiders must be building webs on my site by now.[1]

I'm learning more and more about myself. This, I think is ultimately good - but it is a little depressing to keep realizing I'm learning the same lessons. The topic, once again, is multitasking. I've got so much on my plate that I'm spending too much energy juggling it, and not enough energy doing it. It seems that the more I take on, the less time I spend doing any of it.

The realization hit me again today when I was watching Doug lying on the floor of my office. He was so wiped out from the day that all he wanted to do was lie on the floor and sleep. He was cuddled up on a stuffed snake, and didn't even say a word when our rabbit hopped over and started to nibble on his hair. He was just too pooped to care.

Why? Well, his day started with a road trip with Kelly to his riding class. A morning of riding where Doug's balance and core strength were exercised on horseback. Not only does he have to control the horse, but he has to complete obstacle courses, pick up and drop off items, and generally make several volunteers smile all at once. Then, back into the car for a quick stop at home for some food, and off to school. And we all know how hard school can be for a Kindergarten kid - all that cutting and drawing, and colouring, and oh yes, a Speech and Language session with the specialist. Then, off to home and an energy boosting after school snack. Good thing too, since another of his "ists" arrives at 3:00. More drawing, printing, sequencing and other fine motor skills. A bike ride in the back path? Sure, why not. A kid needs his exercise, right? By the time 5:00 rolled around, Doug was done.

But I sure made the day efficient, didn't I? Good old dad knows how to pack a schedule for minimum wasted time.

Slow down. Smell the roses. Watch your kids grow.

[ps] Funny story. Today, we got a phone call. Doug has finally made it to the top of yet another waiting list. We were finally able to book an appointment to get him assessed for another program! Better yet, it's the program that he just finished his 19th week of... (I wonder if we'll get in.)

[1] geek humour

New Beginnings

January is the time for New Beginnings. Society gives us the green light for these few weeks after New Years to shed our old mistakes, and begin anew. Our past is left aside, and the world cheers us on as we start fresh. New Beginnings.

On Friday, Doug took delivery of his first wheelchair. New Beginnings. He was very tentative at first. He let Freddy[1] go first. Once Freddy gave the thumbs up of approval, Doug allowed us to help him in. He was not at all sure about this. Neither was I. He's still walking, running, and almost jumping. What are we doing with a wheelchair? Take this thing away and give it to someone who needs it! But he does need it. Long distances are tiring for him, and he's too old for the stroller. Seeing him sit up in the chair makes his eye-contact height much more appropriate. He's not a little kid anymore. I'm already beginning to see a few more things that will change. Our walls will have some new marks - Doug's steering is pretty darn good already, but those footrests are not exactly 5mph bumpers. Some furniture will need to be moved to allow our new Mario Andretti space to practice. On the other hand, some things will be staying the same - for now. Doug doesn't need the chair for his daily living yet. He will still be walking whenever we can let him. We'll use his chair for times and places where his endurance simply isn't up to the task. New Beginnings.

Allison commented to me that it just looked so wrong to see such him sitting there, dwarfed by the size of his chair. I can see what she means, but I think I see it a little differently. What I saw there was the captain of a starship. Sitting up tall in the big captain's chair - finally in charge of his world, and all that he could see. New Beginnings.

We had a sermon in church today about something I've blogged about before. Part of it was about making the most of now - since the past cannot be changed, and the future cannot be experienced. It was given by a friend - a friend who lost his wife to cancer last year. New Beginnings. I was challenged today about how I am living my life. I'm pretty sure I'm not living in the shadows - slinking around and doing evil without regard to my fellow man. I'm not as sure, however, if I'm basking in the radiant heat that the full sunlight of God's love is. I think I may be spending my time in what were referred to as Borderlands. A belt of trees between the bright sunlight of God's love and the dark depths of evil - a place where "the good" go to hide from God, but not completely leave the light that filters through the trees. In my life, this takes the form of living day by day - fending off the crisis of the day, and simply being content to reach the end of the day without a mental meltdown. No goals, no joy, simply existence. His sermon contained a call to action. A call to take what we know about God in our heads, and apply it to our hearts. To take what we know about loving our neighbours and to turn it into the act of loving our neighbours. And to do it now - not tomorrow. At the end of his sermon, Peter issued the call - come forward if you want to make a statement that you are making a fresh start. I'm always uncomfortable at those sorts of challenges - I never know if I'm doing/not doing for the right reasons. Today was the same - only different. I did not hear a clear call to come forward. What I heard was that staying where I was was not an option. I could go forward, or I could go out the door at the back - but the status quo was not acceptable today. I went forward. New Beginnings.

How this will play out, I don't know. But 2008 is a fresh year. I can't change yesterday, and I can't do squat about tomorrow. But I can live right now. New Beginnings.


[1] His favourite companion - a stuffed frog.